


You Only Want Me When You Can't Have Me

by areyoureddiekids



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Kissing, M/M, making out and shit, mentions of sex i guess?, they're sixteen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoureddiekids/pseuds/areyoureddiekids
Summary: Written for the Reddie prompt: 'You only want me when you can't have me'.





	You Only Want Me When You Can't Have Me

Eddie is kissing Richie’s neck, and it’s not like this hasn’t happened before.

They first kissed when they were fourteen and hormonal, and Richie had planted his dry lips against Eddie’s as the others slept upstairs in Bill’s room. Richie had shaken Eddie awake, begging him non-stop to come downstairs with him whilst he got a glass of water (he never liked being alone much, not after It). Eddie, with his heart covered boxers and baggy shirt, had been standing in Bill’s kitchen with that moody fucking tired look as Richie downed the cold glass of water, and Richie hadn’t been able to help himself. 

So, he’d kissed the frown off Eddie’s face and grinned when Eddie spluttered and blushed.

It became almost a…thing after that. They kissed, sometimes. They knew they both liked it. They knew it was something people couldn’t know about, even though Bill, Mike and Stan all blatantly knew the reason Eddie would come back from the bathroom with Richie hot on his heels, his shirt inside out and his normally neat hair rumpled. Ben had known, too, Richie’s sure. But he was long gone now. Just like Bev.

No one says anything, and Richie is grateful. At first, he had been confused as fuck as to what was happening between him and Eddie. They were in the middle of the shit-fest that is puberty, freaked out and wanted to touch each other all the time.

And Richie had been so sure he liked tits. Turned out, he liked dick and tits.  
They’re sixteen now. Richie doesn’t know why, but kissing Eddie (and touching Eddie and making Eddie moan his name and watches Eddie’s cheeks turn from pink to red) has become almost…well, he doesn’t want to call it torture, but fuck it. It’s become torture. 

Because, the thing is, Richie has a girl he’s been seeing. They’re not together. Fuck, no. They’ve been to the Aladdin a few times, and Richie thinks she’s kind of pretty and she’s funny and she gets him. Another thing is, the only reason Richie started seeing her, was because Eddie insisted they couldn’t see each other.

Because what Richie felt for Eddie went beyond kissing and touching. So, he told Eddie this.

‘People are going to find out, Richie,’ Eddie had ground out, brown eyes glassy and cheeks flushed from frustration. ‘What the fuck do you think my mom will do if she finds out? Or your dad? You think they’ll let us keep kissing and screwing around?’

Richie had leaned back in his bed, the hot feel of Eddie’s kisses still splattered across his lips and chest, and glowered at Eddie. ‘Well, shit, Ed’s. Grow a fucking pair, won’t you?’ 

‘Richie-’

But Richie’d had enough. ‘And it’s not just kissing. Shit, Eddie, we both know we fuckin’ like each other-’

But Eddie had clamped his hands over his ears in a way that had made Richie roll his eyes and tell Eddie to fuck off and call Richie when he came to terms with how gay he was. He has told Eddie so many fucking times that he’ll be there for him when he tells his mom he’s a fucking flamer. He’d do anything for Eddie Kaspbrak, and that’s the worst kept secret in Derry.

And yet, even though Richie had found that girl at school and asked her out on a date (because for all the shit he says about banging girls, Eddie has kept him distracted since the age of fourteen) here he was. Locked in some bathroom at some house party (Bill, Mike and Stan were downstairs attempting force Stan to be sociable) with Eddie’s hot mouth on his collarbones.

And the girl he was kind of seeing was downstairs, probably looking for him.  
‘Eddie’. His wants the name to come out like a warning, but instead it comes out like a moan. Fucks sake. Fucking fuck. Why couldn’t he get some fucking will-power when it came to Eddie? Eddie had cornered him in the kitchen, having arrived with the other Losers whilst Richie arrived with the girl, a wide-eyed look on his face and a breathless, nervous whisper in Richie’s ear telling him he needed to talk to him.

So, Richie had rolled his eyes and led Eddie upstairs, past the drunken idiots of his grade and the knowing looks of Mike, Stan and Bill. He didn’t know it, but they’d been putting up with Eddie’s annoyed ramblings about Richie’s stupid date the whole walk to the house.

‘Eddie – Eddie, fucking quit it’. He pushes the smaller boy away, breathless and turned on and, for fucks sake, why did Eddie have to go all pink cheeked and dark-eyed whenever he was kissing Richie? His hair was even messy. It ruined Richie when Eddie’s hair was messy.

‘What?’ Eddie snaps. He’s a little drunk, Richie knows. A drunken Eddie is a fucking boisterous Eddie. ‘The fuck, Richie?’  
Richie glares at pulled at the collar of his brightly coloured shirt. ‘Shit, Ed’s, you know what. I came here with someone else and she’s downstairs. I’m a dick, but I’m not that much of a dick-’

‘Don’t call me Ed’s,’ Eddie snaps, eyes narrowed. He’s wearing a pastel blue jumper and skinny dark jeans, and he’s honestly beautiful. ‘Especially not now’.  
Richie grunts and pulls a face. ‘The fuck does that mean? Don’t act like I’m the one being a dick here!’

Eddie sniffs, then bellow out a, ‘Occupied!’ when there’s a quick knock at the door. Richie jumps and eyes the boy carefully. ‘Why the fuck did you start seeing her, Richie?’ His eyes are on Richie again, and they’re sad and honest and, fuck, Richie can’t feel bad, but he does.

He bites his tongue and sighs. ‘Because you fucking rejected me, Eddie’. Eddie opens his mouth, desperate looking and frustrated. ‘No. Fuck it, I know, okay? You can’t because of your Ma. Well, fuck you. You think I don’t deal with shit form my parents too? They know I’m queer as shit, and do you think they made that easy for me? Shit, Eddie, I’d fucking be there for you’. Richie shakes his head and breathes in through his nose, because he’s said these words so many times before. ‘It’s not fair if you keep coming back to me, Eddie. Not when you know how I…how I fuckin’ feel’. He grimaces at the word.

Eddie sighs and sags. ‘Shit…I know, Richie. I just…I can’t see you with someone else like that. I-’

Richie leans heavily against the wall behind him and frowns. ‘Don’t go saying shit like that unless you mean it, Ed’s’. Because his heart was beating fast and his palms were sweaty, and all he wanted was to have Eddie as his own and not give a fuck what people thought. ‘You can’t come running to me just because I’m trying to move on, and then tell me we can’t be together. You only want me when you can’t have me, and that shit isn’t fair, Kaspbrak’.

Eddie jumps and glowers. ‘The fuck? You know that’s not fucking true, Richie. I always fucking want you. That’s the problem, dipshit’.

Richie shrugs and pretends to look like he’s not beyond pleased at Eddie’s words. ‘I…I’ve loved you for almost three years, dude. There’s only so long I can wait about’. Lie. He could be forty and long gone from Derry and still be hopelessly in love with Eddie Kaspbrak. ‘It…fuck, it sounds corny as shit, but we can deal with people’s fucking prejudice together, Ed’s. I don’t give a shit what they think of me, and nor should you’.

Eddie stares at him, lips wet and eyes glassy. ‘I…shit, Richie. I just…I can’t see you with someone else. Her. It fucking…it really fucked me up. Like, more so than I thought it would, dude’.

Richie shrugs and adjusts his glasses. ‘I know. I’m a total catch’.  
Eddie stares at him for a solid ten seconds before murmuring, ‘…I love you, Richie’.

Richie smiles in relief because, holy shit, finally. ‘I fucking know, dummy’.

Eddie shifts on his feet for a moment. ‘You promise you’ll be there when I tell my mom? And when we go to school and everyone finds out? Because…’cause I’m fucking shitting it, dude’.

And Richie holds him by the cheeks and looks into his eyes, his own magnified by his glasses, and grins a sideways smile that has Eddie’s cheek rounding with his own grin. ‘That’s a dumb fucking question, Ed’s’.

And he kisses him, and for just for the moment they forget about the girl waiting downstairs, and the party happening around them, and all the judgemental shit that’s going to get thrown their way. Because, in this shit heap of a world where people are fuckin’ assholes, Richie Tozier had Eddie Kaspbrak, and they’re both pretty fucking sure that’s the only thing that can ever, ever matter.

‘Wanna ditch this party and make out in the park?’ Richie asks, pulling away from Eddie’s soft mouth.

Eddie rolls his eyes and smiles. ‘Fuck yes. I had one beer and I’m already tipsy. I’m not made for this shit. Sneak out the back?’

‘Sneak out the back,’ Richie agrees, and he clasps Eddie’s hand in his own and presses a warm kiss to Eddie’s soft hair, his one last form of encouragement before they step out into the drunken mess of teenagers beyond the bathroom door and catch sight of Bill, who’s sipping a beer and smiling quietly as he looks at his friends, their hands clasped and their gazes nervous.

But, fuck it, they’re together, right?


End file.
